Chuckle of the Week

Non-Deep Thoughts

  • I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

  • I had amnesia once -- or twice.

  • I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

  • Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

  • All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

  • If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

  • What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

  • They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

  • Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

  • Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

  • Is there another word for synonym?

  • Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

  • What if there were no hypothetical questions?

  • One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

  • When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

  • A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

  • What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

  • My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

  • I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

  • The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

  • How can there be self-help "groups"?

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