The Presidency Has Become A Great Business Opportunity
Dean Lawrence R. Velvel
There are those who question to a considerable extent
Why anyone would want to be President.
Questioners do not seem to understand
Fierce ambition to be first in the land;
They seem not to grasp
Why a pol seeks out what they think an asp.
They say that to run one must do the demeaning,
And must continuously reject
Truth, and even self respect.
They say from the job one gets no relief,
As critics blast one’s every belief,
While one’s every action and inaction
Is always reviled by some large fraction
Of Congress, press and electorate
As merely the expectable expectorate
Of a mind and heart lacking brains or empathy,
Of one whose evil deserves no sympathy,
Of one like, let us say, George Bush The Second.
The questioners just can’t grasp the desire,
In the pol’s greedy heart the fire
To be number one, to be the person who
Supposedly tells everyone else what to do.
To be number one among all in the land, and
Possibly even to live in history --
Not calculating it may largely be in ignominy,
Or that most will not be a Washington or Lincoln or even FDR,
But are more likely to find that their star
May sink to that of Buchanan or Hoover
Or at best will reach the mediocre,
Or if at first thought outstanding
Will in time find a lower landing,
As Ronald Raygun almost certainly will
When future historians consider his swill
Though he’s a hero today;
And that few are those who will rise in time
As have Eisenhower and HST
(Though Ike was bad on equality);
And that even fewer are those like Lincoln,
Who from boyhood had the overwhelming ambition,
Which he achieved because of war’s horrid friction,
To do something great for which he would be remembered,
Which he did by keeping the country from being dismembered
And announcing freedom on 22 September,
1862, acts for which he received history’s red hat.
But now there is an additional reason
Why pols avidly embrace the presidential season.
It’s no longer just the desire to be first,
Or to live forever in a great sunburst
Of historical fame.
No. Now its for gain,
For riches, for wealth, for dollars by the million
That the greedy dance at the presidential cotillion,
Since it has now become clear for all to see
That to be President is a business opportunity
Of terrific dimension.
You can’t cash in till your days in office are done.
But then! -- Can you count to a million?
Or three or four
Or 10, 20, 40 or more?
Oh how the cash will come flooding in.
The end will not be, as with Saddam, the wages of sin.
(Of course, he got cash before he cashed it in.)
Realistically it started with the sainted Raygun,
Who went to the land of the Shogun
To speak for a cool two mill in ’89
That’s a payday very fine
Even for the avatar and establisher of greed
(Coupled with screwing people in need).
Then we got the first George Bush,
Who’d been face down in the soup in the land of the Shogun,
And lost because he turned his own slogan
Into a lie by raising our tax
Instead of chopping it as by an ax.
He came back by speaking in China.
Then made a ton more -- we can’t even guess how much -- by fronting
For the Carlyle Group as it went globally hunting
For contacts and deals and lucre unimaginable
From Saudis and Asians and others damnable.
But the biggest of all is Billy Blow _ _ _ and his consort Hillary.
They’ve made amounts of money that boggle the mind.
You will find
It’s in the tens of millions.
And how much will it be after she
Is President, with the consort being he.
Let’s see: Another 50 mill would be a good guess.
Or 75 mill? -- I’ll settle on that. Yes,
That sounds like a good number to me.
Let’s see some of what they’ve managed so far.
They each got millions for their books --
A total of 10 mill? 15 mill? 20 mill? More?
Literarily the books may be trash, but cash is cash.
Billy Blow _ _ _ has gotten about 40 mill in lecture fees,
Of which he’s kept nine or ten mill,
While most of the rest goes to their two foundations apparently.
Big business pays him $150,000 per speech in the US of A.
But that’s peanuts next to what he gets when away
In a foreign land:
In Canada he got $475,000 for two talks and another $650,000 for some others,
In France Citigroup paid him $250,000 for just one,
In Saudi Arabia he got $600,000 for two,
And in Bogota he got a cool 800gs.
Oh how the money rolls in, rolls ins, oh how the money rolls in.
It adds up, you know.
Now scores of millions have been paid to Billy Blow _ _ _,
The defiler of the Oval Office,
Of the office where FDR and Truman did their work,
Now defiled by that sex mad jerk,
Not to mention his evil successor
Who elseways is much worse than his predecessor.
But let us not forget Hillary,
Who is running hard for the Presidency,
The job she wanted since she was what, twenty-three?
Or maybe thirty-three.
Anyway she has come to see
That it would be another great business opportunity
Were she to win the Presidency.
Books, speeches -- oh how the money will roll in when she’s done.
As for Bill, he will be the “First Gentleman,”
Though if there’s one thing he isn’t, it’s that.
No matter. Through him money will start show’ring them both
The second that Hillary takes the oath.
And mark well that the huge companies
That already are paying Bill huge fees
Also give fortunes to her campaign.
Goldman, Sachs has paid Bill $650,000 for four speeches, and the same
Bank’s employees and PAC have contributed $270,000 to Hillary.
Citigroup gave Bill $250,000 to speak in France
And $320,000 to her campaign to help it advance.
So never let it be said that business and pols are not allied
Or that we are democracy rather than a plutocracy
(Or even a kakistocracy).
No, we have now merged business and politics to such an extent
That no longer do bribes or graft represent
The only way pols make money.
No, now indeed the pot of honey
Can be bigger, better, far more lucrative,
And completely within the law,
If you take advantage of the heaven sent
Opportunity to be President.
It’s a great business for sure,
And for Reagans, Clintons and Bushes filled with allure.
So go Hillary: enable us to see
Just how rich you and Bill can be
From his and then your Presidency --
Literally a golden opportunity;
His and her presidencies (like towels) -- a new concept,
One fueled by the golden precept
That the Presidency is a great business.
As it is. As it is.
So to win the Presidency the pols rant and they rave
Attempting to catch popularity’s wave,
While Abraham Lincoln can but turn in his grave
That for this the nation he managed to save;
For this: to make the Presidency
A golden business opportunity
While leaders screw commoners in “the land of the free”
And are so much less than they ought to be.
For this the nation he managed to save?
Lincoln can only turn in his grave.
That this is “the land of the free and the home of the brave?”
Lincoln can only turn in his grave.
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