HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

August 6, 2007
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Budget: A mythical set of figures; always lower than they should be.

Buffering: The activity most required by those who believe that history is the story of human progress.

Buffoonery: The belief that one is being a wit while actually coming out as an ass.

Buggery: Process prized because it produces nothing other than more of itself; true of culture buggery as well as more basic kinds.

Bull: A person who argues that you can make money by buying high.

Bumpkin: A U.S. Congressman discoursing on international petroleum prices.

Burger: A food patty, generally designed to be grilled, which used to be made of meat but now in the age of sensitivity is composed of increasingly mysterious ingredients.

Burlesque: A performance that may produce laughter, or rage, but never reformation.

Burnout: Condition among teachers that is directly proportional to how child-centered the parents of their students are.

Business: An activity connected with fecal matter, as in "I've got to do my business." That business is busy is an essential feature of its filthiness.

Business Ethics: Excusing rotten behavior by saying that "he's just playing the game the way it's played."

Buxom: The quality most commendable in a wench.


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