HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

September 3, 2007
Chuckle of the Week

Thoughts from Maxine


I can't use the cell phone in the car I have to keep my hands free for making
gestures....

I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors
as quickly as possible.

The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is
muscular and shirtless.

All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.

My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.

Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human; to forgive, highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels??

Money can't buy happiness--but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching somewhere ... you may be dead.


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