HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

October 22, 2007
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Commodity Hell: Trying to sell a product that's exactly the same as everyone else's by finding a cuter puppy for your commercials.

Common Reader: A complex intellectual ideal which some people come close to realizing, a person definitely not the average guy, and who is best characterized as the only reader worth writing for.

Common Sense: The ability to know when something, or somebody, has gone goofy.

Commune: An impossible domestic arrangement which appeals, in the abstract, to people who have never paid attention to their fellow creatures.

Communist: Up till about 1985 a fearful beast; now merely a rather simple-minded idealist.

Community: Non-existent quality said to flourish among people who hate the existing world.

Compelling: One of the big three adjectives in book blurbs.

Competencies: Skills which prospective school teachers must demonstrate through exercises which have nothing whatever to do with them.

Competition: A process which transmogrifies from God's prime directive to the lure of Satan as one moves from right to left.

Complaint: A tiresome activity, regardless of its justification; in fact, it has the perverse quality of becoming more tiresome the more justified it is.

Complaisance: An attitude more productive of good than anybody gives it credit for.

Complexity: Condition discovered by ideologues at about the same time it dawns on them that heretofore they have been stupid as posts.


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