HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

December 10, 2007
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Crib: A small bed seldom to be found in a manger.

Crime: Acts of ambition which place one in a sporting relationship with respectable society.

Criminology: A subject taught effectively only in prison.

Criticism: For the most part, the asking and answering of meaningless questions: does the method of narration control the message of the narrative? and blah, blah, blah.

Critics: Superintendents of taste who got their own taste from the junkyards of their nursery days.

Crock: An earthen jar which is pleasant in actuality but not so pleasant in association.

Cro-Magnon: Early form of humanity, exhibited today in the person of Gerard Depardieu.

Cronies: A tiny sampling of humankind which serves one as a vaccine against the rest.

Cruelty: The vice most skillful in disguising itself as virtue, especially when some principle of integrity is said to be involved.

Crying: Activity women urge on men in order to despise them for it.

Cubs: Baseball players who, if more than two of them play for a team other than Chicago, render that team incapable of winning the World Series.

Cuisenaire Rod: A colored block of wood invented by people who believe little kids are too stupid to learn arithmetic.


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