HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

February 4, 2008
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Distortion: The relationship between the significance of an event and the amount of attention the press gives it.

Distracted: The condition of an influential person when you want him to be as interested in you as you are yourself.

Distress: That which the cause of relieving is forgotten before anything else.

Diversity: A supposed procedural good directed at forcing everyone to think exactly the same thing.

Diversity Pronoun: An ineffective weapon against bigotry used by people who are too squeamish to admit that evil is the actual source of meanness.

Divorce: The twentieth century's cure for character defects.

DNA: Tiny stuff used for throwing people into jail for crimes no one saw them commit.

Documentation: Incomprehensible books accompanying software programs written by persons totally innocent of the experience of encountering them afresh.

Doctrine: That which is invariably erroneous, regardless of its source.

Dog: A lower middle class (or, perhaps, upper proletarian) animal, as exhibited by its uninhibited eagerness and excitement when someone comes visiting.

Doing: The means of justifying one's existence in a low age, attested by the truth that every vulgarian one meets thinks he has the right to ask, "What are you doing now?" a question that cannot be answered gracefully.

Domain: Term used by prune brains for an area of investigation.


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