HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

February 25, 2008
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Earrings: Baubles hung from holes punched in the ear which are believed, erroneously, to exert an irresistible attraction on the opposite sex, or the same sex, as the case may be.

Earth: A combinative word used to designate pure virtue in the linkage it produces, as in "earthview" or "earthwatch"

Ease: An unstable condition which is more likely to dip down to staleness than to soar to ecstasy.

Easter: Holiday for which there is the greatest discrepancy between the event commemorated and the popular forms of celebration.

Eclipse: Two minutes of darkness in the daytime which causes huge crowds to gather in hopes the world is coming to an end.

Ecology: Everything good, especially bugs and worms and stuff like that.

Economic Development: The only reason for existence the modern nation can think of.

Economist: Charlatan with charts.

Edge: Place to which people repair to demonstrate gallantry.

Edict: A platitude proclaimed by a senator, school principal, department chairman, or other windbag.

Education: Once the process whereby people learned things; now the profession which explains that it doesn't matter if people learn things as long as they attain skill levels.

Education Department: A section of a university established as a refuge for those whose minds are too simplistic to accommodate genuine college study, and therefore one which is in dire competition with the departments of psychology and business administration.

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