HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

March 3, 2008
Chuckle of the Week

Analogies and Metaphors - Part Two


Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners:

  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. Traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. At a speed of 35 mph.

  • They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

  • John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

  • He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

  • Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

  • Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

  • The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

  • He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

  • The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

  • It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

  • He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.


Click here to read Part One


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