HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

March 3, 2008
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Educational psychology: Said to be the shoddiest academic field, though one does need to consider literary criticism and gender studies.

Efficiency: The religion of idiots and fascists.

Effusiveness: A sign of deep hatred, especially when it involves women kissing other women.

Egalitarian: A person who would rather see everyone in perfect misery than to have all raised above sufficiency, but in differing degrees.

Egg: A hen's best approximation of a chicken.

Eighteenth Century: A hundred year period commonly said to be longer than any of its predecessors or successors, perhaps because people then wore unusually tight clothes.

Elect: Those chosen to escape submission to secondary matters.

Electricity: A fluid of no discernible weight which causes houses at night to twinkle noiselessly.

Electropeasantry: A coinage by William Irwin Thompson to indicate what television viewers have become, a concept validated by the tendency of shortsighted politicians to seek ascendancy through the manipulation of vicious gossip.

Elegance: That which disappears in England at 74º but which can be maintained in America up to maybe 88º, and, in Alabama and Georgia, even higher.

Elephant: The symbol of the Rebublican Party, which ought to be viewed as a greater violation of animal rights than a chicken slaughterhouse.

E-mail: Method of sending letters in which one need not worry about spelling, punctuation or, even, intelligibility.

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