HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

April 21, 2008
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Family Values: Formula for boredom, and vacancy of mind.

Famine: A misfortune which, on television, visits only small children: probably the most unseemly form of human selfishness.

Fan: A piece of cardboard attached to a stick, supplied by funeral homes to churches, usually with a painting of heavenly bliss on one side and advertisements on the other.

Fantasy: Secret thoughts and images which moral reformers want to suck out of your brain.

Faro: A game of chance which seems to have fallen into disuse, replaced by dozens just as dull as it was.

Fart: The expulsion of noxious air in a manner hilarious to twelve year old boys.

Fascinating: The quality of almost every book described in an advertising blurb.

Fascist: A nice person who is determined to cleanse the world.

Fashion: Obsession in timid people.

Father: Disgusting and villainous member of a family.

Fault: Applied vanity in action.

Fauna: Animals, when spoken of together with plants.


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