HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

May 5, 2008
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Feud: A quarrel which prefers to express itself with guns, knives, and dynamite.

Feudalism: Backscratching raised to its ultimate level.

Fez: Hat with no bill worn in countries where a bill is desperately needed.

Fib: A lie that nobody cares much about, unless he is a special prosecutor.

Fiction: Stories, most recently about droopy people who make life harder than it needs to be.

Filiopietism: Puffing yourself up by claiming your ancestors were better than they were.

Filth: That which assumes its purest form in the mind of an inquisitor.

Firmament: A concept scarcely ever understood by anybody, especially not by the religious people who think they have some special insight into it.

First: Adjective applied to anything remotely connected to the president of the United States.

Fits: The actions by which genius tends to express itself.

Five-o-one C-three: More commonly written 501C(3), a section in the U.S tax code which has become a noun, as in "He has his own 501C(3)"-- further evidence that a major purpose of government is to degrade the English language.

Fixation: Taking an intense interest in something other people don't see the use of.


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