HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

May 19, 2008
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Florida: State where people go to die, either of old age or by government execution.

Flow: What life is supposed to do but never does.

Fluidic: A non-word appearing frequently in advice columns which are disguised as astronomical predictions.

Foliage: Dying leaves, which by reminding that life goes away, send droves to Vermont in October for sexual indulgence.

Folklore: A subject that ought to be interesting, but isn't--probably has something to do with the folklorists.

Folly: A region whose borders contain the residences of the cleverest of men.

Food: A product about which people are curiously high-fallutin, a surprising attitude when you consider what it becomes after just a little bit.

Fool: Man who falls prey to erethismic woman.

Fop: A person, generally a man, who continually tries to put low things into high places, and just as continually mistakes his giggles for laughter.

Foppery: The fashions of the young which manage to express with unerring discernment complete dismissal of everything know or loved before they came on the scene.

Foreboding: The chief means of disennobling a soul.

Foreground: A member of the most odious linguistic tribe, that is, nouns that have become verbs through the agency of aspiring scholars who are writing decades before they have anything worth saying.


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