HARVARD SQUARE COMMENTARY

August 11, 2008
From Sanitas

A Lexicon for the 21st Century

John Turner


Health Education: Opportunity for obsessed people to pop off to little kids about sex.

Heart: The seat of moral disposition which is clogged by far more than cholesterol.

Heartland: Regions of America in which Jews, blacks, and Latinos don't reside in sufficient numbers to keep fascists out of Congress.

Heartthrob: A boy too dewy to pose a real sexual threat.

Heaven: Place where nothing significant ever happens; reputed to be a desirable habitat, but which becomes increasingly corny.

Hell: Not necessarily other people, as Jean Paul Sartre said, but, certainly, other people in a train or bus station.

Help: Talk from a psychotherapist for which one pays about two dollars a word.

Henid: A thing trying to become an idea which is doomed to failure; said by Otto Weininger to be the principal constituent of mental activity in women.

Henley: A mass-produced knit shirt designed to suggest that its wearer has been continually rowing on the Thames.

Herbs: Little leaves, twigs, and other scruffy stuff that can be found to do anything, if you're New Agey enough; reputed by the stupid to cure stupidity.

Hermit: One who will find his aims opposed by no one, except, maybe, the IRS.

Heterosexuality: A suspicious practice coming increasingly under critical scrutiny.


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